I can do things. Metaphysical things. Not just ONE thing. MANY things. I am not perfect at any one, but a student of them all. Describing me as ‘fascinated’ with all of this is an understatement!
Before I get into my experiences of these cool-ass experiences thus far, I am going to be honest here and admit a struggle of mine. *AHEM* (drum roll please!) I HAVE A PROBLEM OWNING IT. (as of writing this post) Trust me there are no apologies about what I can do and what I’m learning. It’s TALKING about my abilities, that I have problem with. At what point do you bring it up? Do I have to? NOPE! I just think some of the key fundamental people in your would should KNOW. There is only a small handful of people, I will admit, that I truly do care if they know or not. Some would think it would be so easy to just SAY IT! Get it over with! To me its just not that easy.
So, lets just break this down into what it REALLY is about, shall we?
FEAR. There, I said it. I am human and want to belong and feel accepted. What you run the risk of is exactly what most people crave and yet fear. STANDING OUT. Rejection and criticism are a few of the massive verbal slugs one can give to another. I want to point out that FEAR is a TWO WAY STREET. If you fear something it is because YOU don’t understand, accept or approve of something. To justify it, you try and make someone else feel bad for their choices/idea in hopes that they will change to make YOU feel better. So in a nut shell, I have a fear of telling you and you have a fear of the unknown and therefore either not being able to control the outcome has the potential of both sides feeling bad.
WHAT THE HELL IS MY PROBLEM, THEN???? You know, I don’t know. If I didn’t believe it, I wouldn’t speak it. To give you and example. Let me tell you about Stan*
Stan* is a guy from school that I have always had an affinity for. There has always been something about Stan that I gravitated to. In my eyes, he and his family are just wonderful people. So over the years, Stans’ Mom, Dad and bother have all passed. I knew his Mom the best but also his brother for a brief few years before HE passed (suicide). They both came to me in my meditation and said when I was ready, they would like me to give Stan* and his family a message from them. (Truly, I WOULD BE HONORED!!! ) So, I called Stan to chat and catch up for a few. Stan even commented on our connection as just a handful of everlasting good souls that can always pick up the phone and talk to like no time has passed! I then told him of the pending messages that I have for him. Explained my pending trip overseas to learn and develop skills to do this more effectively. Then asked would he be open to hearing more when I was more prepared??? ( trust me, I HELD MY BREATH). He was kind to me. He asked how I knew that it was “THEM” vs. someone else. He asked a few more questions. Told me that he did believe enough and that he and his wife watch a few metaphysical shows on TV. I thanked him, and we hung up the phone. THAT IS WHEN THE PANIC SET IN. I will be honest and say that it bothered me… a LOT. What did he think? Was he just being nice? Was he gossiping about me? Think I went off the deep end??? I had to let it go and resolve the fact that IF I DID’T BELIEVE IT MYSELF I WOULD NOT HAVE PUT MYSELF AT RISK TO MENTION IT. Did that make me feel better? Well it did after it set in finally after about a week.
THE BIG THREE ARE NEXT. Who you might ask are my TOP THREE??? *Sigh*, ok, here-goes. My Sons and My Mom.
You would think THEY would be the easy ones, right??? NOPE! I would find it much easier to walk up to a stranger, or in front of a crowd of people and say I HAVE WOO \-WOO GIFTS, then to tell my kids. I am going to next week though. Well, say enough at least. I will be flying overseas to ‘Hogwarts’ for training. I mentioned it to my Mom briefly in conversation today and she said “oh”. More on them later.
That being said, I was at the local Mind Body & Spirit Expo this past August and got some good advice from a local metaphysical practitioner. As I explained my plight, and he said to me: YOUR KIDS (OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER) DON’T GET TO DICTATE WHAT YOU LIKE OR DON’T LIKE, NOR DO THEY GET TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE. IT’S UP TO THEM TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH THE INFORMATION YOU GIVE THEM. TELL THEM WHAT THE DEAL IS AND FOR THEM TO FIGURE OUT FOR THEMSELVES WHAT IS BEST TO EXPLAIN OR NOT EXPLAIN WHAT YOU DO.
Best life advice I have received in a long time! Now to just apply it! Wish me luck!
*Names have been changed to protect the identity