Have you ever heard this story Wayne Dyer speaks of: THE FIVE CHAPTERS OF MY LIFE
Pretty cool that how written, this can apply to all of us for one or more situations! As it is the last day of this year, I want to put a new spin on new years resolutions. Hear me out!
We all have been asked about what you want to have, do, acquire and accomplish for this new year. We all have this grandiose-o list and all the mustered-up gumption to do it. We talk about how THIS year is going to be different! We share our plans with others like trading cards. Unfortunately, did you know that statistically 80% of us loose our resolve by February? I’m not being a Debbie-Downer, it’s a fact! The best laid out plans are forgotten, and we get back on that SAME HAMSTER WHEEL of life. UGH!
A few years ago, someone enlightened me that it is not my job to make everyone happy. WHO KNEW? Not me! I was told that my only responsibility was to take care of ME and their responsibility was for them to take care of themselves. I was reminded that I did not come into this world with a list pinned to my skin that said: SHE IS TO WORK, SACRIFICE AND LIVE HER LIFE TO MAKE THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE HAPPY: (fill in blank). Trust me, that took more than a few moments to wrap my head around that for some reason. Once I got that through my thick head, I then started exercising that option in my life (seriously empowering – you GOTTA TRY IT!!). Mind you with all the free time I had NOT MAKING EVERYONE ELSE HAPPY, I then read:
YOU ONLY HAVE ONE JOB TODAY: MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY
(insert dramatic music for affect) Folks, you heard it right! I am ONLY charge of making MOI, happy. HA! That simple? NOT! For some reason my Angels put this in front of me to see (there are no coincidences or accidents) and trust me, it was like reading a foreign language at that moment. I used to be really happy! MUST-FIND-AGAIN. So, I do what I do best and write WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO TODAY TO BE HAPPY on this wipe board I have on my wall in big bold words and colorful markers. Then proceed to walk past it five million times and ponder. What in the tar nation was HAPPY to me now? (insert Jeopardy music here)
I don’t know about you, but the definition of happy for me changes moment by moment, day by day, and year by year. What made me happy yesterday isn’t as profound or exciting today. Want me to prove it? Ever have a life-gasm moment and go back to do it again – same everything — and the magic you felt isn’t the same? There you go! Same thing. What changed? YOU.
So, I played a game of sorts, with myself. IF IT DOESN’T MAKE ME HAPPY, AND BRING JOY, then the answer was NO. Was that going to make some people mad? YES. Was that my job to make THEM happy? NO! The challenge was to find happy IN THE MOMENT. Not when I finally get to a milestone. It was actually, pretty freeing to me. I took my soul out of the box of ‘expectations’ and asked what it needed to be happy for the moment and IT TOLD ME.
I was HAPPY when I went for a walk. I felt HAPPY I made the phone call. I felt HAPPY when I sat down with my phone off and colored in a coloring book, had a cup of coffee, read a book, or took extra time for self-care. I felt happy I gave back and volunteered and gave to others of my own free will. I looked for things that made me happy RIGHT FREAKIN’ NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week, not “WHEN”. I did whatever my soul required RIGHT NOW. I tried this for one week. This was seriously cool! I felt lighter in my heart. I did it again for another week. Everything I did or said I applied the question WILL THIS MAKE ME HAPPY? I then got on a roll of sorts. I didn’t wake up stressed. I felt more at peace. I was off the hamster wheel of life.
Do you even know what happy LOOKS LIKE for you? If you don’t know what that answer could be, get your photo albums/pictures out. THATS YOUR PROOF. You can see it in yourself what you look like when you are truly happy. I did this with my Son’s girlfriend. I looked at her happy pictures and asked her what was going on when that picture was taken. She lit up like a Christmas tree to tell me. THAT WAS HER HAPPY. I then pointed out other pictures that, although she was smiling, didn’t reflect true happiness from the inside. She saw what I saw then. There was a distinct difference.
I did this to Agent 007 too! She sent me a selfie out by the pool while at her time share. I told her to save that picture as I had never seen her look so relaxed and happy. I asked her to look at that picture and then at herself in the mirror every day. If she didn’t see that same happy reflection, she needed to change something.
I am not going to write here about a specific road map for your happy place. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. If you still are unsure about what happy is for you, look at what makes you UN-happy and that will tell you what DOES makes you happy. Write out or speak the positive version of what makes you happy. Make it a game to do just ONE THING that will make your soul happy per day. Your Angels will help to lead you more of those things that bring you happiness and joy. When you light up with joy and happiness, it emanates to others and, if nothing, else gives them an example for which to find their own internal happiness.
So here we are, CHAPTER FIVE: WALK DOWN A DIFFERENT SIDEWALK (aka – do something different) I challenge you to do it different this year. Resolve to be happy and at peace. Re-write those new years resolutions. Define what being at peace and being happy is for YOU, then do it! Set your soul free even if it is for only a few minutes at first. Strip down those big things on your list and look at them from the basics. Find your inner child that was content and happy to eat a PB&J and color. Marvel at the calm of sitting by water. Take a bubble bath, read that book, ride a bike, do a cartwheel, build that model airplane. JUST FIND WAYS TO MAKE *YOU* HAPPY. Celebrate every small milestone. Get excited over being just one step closer. BREATHE. Believe. Listen to your soul. Look for moments to be happy and the happy will find YOU!