AHEM! Hey? You sleeping? OH GOOD! LETS TALK!
Does your bedtime go a little something like this?
YOUR EGO/MIND speaking: ‘AHEM! The BODY is finally laying down! Tonight’s agenda is RETHINKING. The goal is to go over all the things we still NEED to do, DIDN’T do, and WANTED to do. Oh, and we will also re-hash that “thing” you have been overanalyzing. I would like to bring in my trusty partners, “worry” and “OVERthinking”. We have ALL NIGHT! (insert maniacal laugh).’
The minute you lay down, your EGO-brain decides to have multiple analytic conversations that won’t stop! Worry and overthinking are whooping it up. Sometimes, after you lay down your mind winds up so much you’re not even tired any more. There is probably so much mind chatter you cannot hear the whispers of what your soul wants you to know. It’s the messages you need your senses to understand. Yes, your ego is playing so much “loud music” (aka ‘chatter’), that you can’t relax. The side effect is that you don’t sleep either!
Personally, my solution/crutch was to go to sleep with my TV on so I could “dumb down”. This was my way of distracting my brain by listening to anything else so I didn’t keep thinking . Thus, sleep would ensue. Yep, it was the lullaby for my EGO-Brain, the TV.
So now your FINALLY asleep. THEN guess what happens??? Visits from your ANGELS, possible loved ones visiting and your Angelic guidance. BECAUSE YOU CAN HEAR THEM NOW. I figure a conversation goes like this:
YOUR ANGELS speaking: ‘PSSST! Hey! Hey you!! Wake up! It’s between 2-5 AM. LETS TALK! Now that your big-mouth EGO is asleep, *WE* would like pass along messages your soul wants you to know about. Now remember, these messages come in the form of symbols, signs, messages, and thoughts we gave you RIGHT BEFORE YOU ARE FULLY AWAKE. But hey, we need to keep it down though because EGO might wake up. There’s going to be a test. Can you remember this? What did we just tell you about?’
Wayne Dyer said in one of his speeches that EGO stands for Edge God Out. Which in theory makes sense. When we are conscious, we are tied up with all the “must do’s” and “have-to” that, more often than not, are about things that don’t necessarily make you happy. Sometimes they do, but I bet most don’t.
If quieting the mind were an Olympic sport, I would have never qualified. In fact, I remember I did not like silence AT ALL. There had to be music, the TV on, an audio book playing, or SOMETHING. I remember one time I stated to a friend that “I dont think I’m going to like what I find out if I am ever that quiet”. Oh, how true it was. (picture me putting fingers in my ears going LA LA LA, I CAN’T HEAR YOU!)
Of course, I can look back NOW and totally understand. Then? Not so much. Being silent for me, was like an allergy to avoided at all costs. Avoidance was my drug of choice. Silence made me VERY uncomfortable. There was obviously something significant inside I just did not want to acknowledge or tolerate. Clearly, I had no clue what it was, nor did I want to find out. The dark corners of my mind seemed awfully scary! So, like an annoying mosquito, that is how it is in my life. Address it finally or agreed to be irritated.
My brain was wound SO TIGHT, it was like trying to squeeze into your summer shorts after a long winter. It got to the point that I couldn’t sleep at. My standbys’ were not working either. Slowly I started to give in. The first step for me was being nudged by Spirit to “give it to the paper”. Yup, there some example was put in front of me and I thought, I CAN DO THAT! All the stuff I was afraid to forget that I continued to re-cycle in a continual loop of thought at night, I would write it down and address it in the morning. *SIGH* FINALLY! Some sleep. Well, sort of.
Ever get so over done that the world could pass you by and you wouldn’t even know it? Well, I was more than a few times. So, with one to many steps over the edge, I finally made myself empty my brain. Not just my lists but start an online journal. I could write ANYTHING I WANTED – beat a dead horse – turn it inside out, flip it over and talk about it a MILLION MORE TIMES. I wrote a LOT. I would like to say to all my close friends, YOU’RE WELCOME. Heaven knows they heard the same carousel of stories over and over again consistently wrapped differently. I’m sure journaling saved many of my friendships. For a while, it gave me more MENTAL space. I think of my on line journal as my “external mental hard drive”. Guess what I learned??? I learned what “free space” was in my thoughts.
You know, after I realized what an emptier brain felt like, FREE SPACE WAS SUPER COOL! It was like finally defragging my brain. My thoughts were clearer. Silence is AH-MAZ-ING. So, in not wanting to let it go I practiced the art of “slowing my thoughts and honoring that empty space”. Since it was less than a handful of times that I could remember what an “empty” brain felt like, I was not going to let it go. No way, no how! My challenge was to accomplish it when not on a vacation.
That QUIET in my head was no longer the enemy – I realized that I was holding onto so much that didn’t matter. As I let things go, more compressed and suppressed thoughts came forward. It was like cleaning out a closet. I made space for “silence”.
So does silence let me sleep better? Well, YES-AND-NO……Now I’m waking up with some pretty incredible NEW thoughts, ideas and memories. I feel so much more at peace though! Guess who’s talking now? My Angels.
I swear my Angels play ‘Rock-Paper-Scissors’ to see who gets to wake me up for the night. Always between 2AM and 5 AM. I don’t know how they wake YOU up, but I have had my headboard SLAPPED/knocked. I hear random noises that seem to stir me awake. I have a child spirit that plays around me. I’m pretty sure they were involved in a game of “Angel-Tag” in my room because they shoved my vision board over on my night stand with such a force, It scared the crap out of me!
Ever fall asleep for a “powernap” and wake up with such a complete story and yet it was only like 10 min? It’s THAT window of time. I am now aware of their gentle guidance and words because there is silence and peace to hold the thought more.
I don’t fight it anymore. As I grow in my journey, I know that my Angels need to talk to me and let me know things I may have overlooked in the form of signs and synchronicities during my waking hours. Its when I’m finally asleep and my EGO is out of the way that they attempt to get thru to you. The question is WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO SAY?
First of all, they WILL let you sleep if you ASK THEM. At least it works for me. More often than not, I let them know it’s OK to wake me up but make sure that that the message is clear, understandable and THAT I REMEMBER.
What are they saying? If you train yourself to be aware of the FIRST THING you remember while you are in that in-between sleep/awake state-THAT’S THE MESSAGE. I will get song lyrics, specific words and phrases, even something specific about a dream I just came out of. Sometimes, it’s a person’s face, or something distinctive. One time I saw the most beautiful blue eyes!! I have been aware that “someone” is in my room. I have woken up SOOOOOO unbelievably cold despite having blankets on – along with the awareness that I’m not alone. I usually just say HI and go back to sleep. I have felt a hand on my face in endearment. Sometimes I have felt as if someone is holding me. With less mind chatter and more peace, I can now differentiate the messages I am getting even if it is metaphorically.
There are times that a reading I give carries over into my channeling in the next few days and into my night. There might be more that the Spirits want to say or to make sure I got the message loud and clear by repeating something. I have sent emails in the we-hours of the night, put my head down, and hear more, send ANOTHER email. They will play songs, say words, and show me pictures. If this happens a lot, I have been known to “negotiate” with them. IF THEY LET ME SLEEP, I promise to channel for them specifically to get further clarity. So far, that works!
There are some messages your Higher self (SOUL) needs you to hear. Sometimes to address those “gut instincts” you keep ignoring. Your Angels are commissioned to deliver the message. Your EGO needs to be quiet to free up space so it can comprehend the message they are trying to get thru to you. They LOVE AND WANT TO GIVE YOU GUIDANCE AND TALK. There is so much love to share with you that the best time that they know they have your attention is during that early morning hours. Have you ever paid attention and notice a collective of people saying that they woke up between 2 AM and 5 AM? Yet, other times everyone slept like a rock? To me, it’s pretty clear that there are a lot of visitations and messages delivered during this time. It’s said that the veil between the physical and spirit world is the thinnest at that time. Your soul is happy that your ego is out for the count even for a short bit so you can understand, and feel and know what the message is.
There are times that I don’t have or make the time to meditate. It is after a few days that I feel the old mental gymnastics starting up. It is in those moments that I finally sit still to honor my soul and clear my mind to receive messages during the day and at night.
All I know is that it’s pretty darn cool that I now CAN silence my thoughts – I APPREICATE peace and quiet and don’t fight it any longer. I think the bigger accomplishment for me is that I am no longer scared of what is going on in the dark crevices of my mind. Now I embrace it. I have given my soul a MUCH bigger voice than my ego. When my soul speaks, I LISTEN! (ok MOST of the time – did I mention I can be stubborn??) I appreciate what my senses can relay to me and grateful for my inner knowing.
During this time of slowing down – it is truly SUCH a gift that some will not appreciate until they look back. So, while the world has hopefully taken SOME obligations and stress off your shoulders giving you PERMISSION TO PAUSE – do so. Its ok to sit still and listen. They have secrets to tell you!