GROUNDED! After my divorce, I gave myself a time-out. No dating. No canoodling with the opposite sex. I didn’t impose a time limit. Whatever time it took was how long I needed. I needed to heal. Had to figure out how to put down the baggage. Separate-out what was mine, and what belonged to others. I needed to breathe. I had to figure out who the hell I was, what I liked and didn’t like. I had to take ownership of my part of my own patterns, and why. I had to dig deep and know what lessons I (FINALLY) learned so I don’t EVER do it again! It was time to re-center. Learn about taking care of me FIRST and how to take that forward. I promise that was the cliff note version. In general though, this is what Spirit calls, doing your “shadow work”. So, I did what I do best – retreat.
Oh my battered heart! The only way I knew to let it heal was to build a fortress around it. Man, I got a five gallon bucket of Gorilla Glue, mixed it with quick dry cement, bought a mountain of cinder blocks, found an island that had a mote with alligators around it and promptly walled my heart off from the world. NO-MORE! It was a tower that rivaled Rapunzels’! No windows or doors, anywhere! At the time…. It was for good.
Like anything traumatic the scars were fresh and very deep. When and IF I healed, would remain to be seen. Love was officially, forgotten. I told my heart I was sorry. I would occasionally peak in to see how the healing was going. It was truly a very-slow-process. I even became allergic to romantic movies, steamy novels and couples showing deep compassionate love towards one another. It was like poking a deep bruise. I avoided those scenarios at all cost! Love?? Blah blah blah….WHAT-EV-ER! … NEXT!
Time went on and I started getting some indication that the fortress was starting to crack. Had it been that long? A few years had gone by already! I was very much aware of certain aspects of myself that were starting to resurface. What? Someone was good looking??? NO-WAY-JOSE! I even noticed that my allergic reaction was not there. It wasn’t a GOOD feeling, but it also was no longer a BAD feeling. I no longer felt distain, anger, or disgust. Hark! Was there progress???? It was really pretty cool to see some small cracks in my fortress. I didn’t work to wedge them open, but I was just noticing them.
During one of my channeling sessions, Spirit showed me a red heart in a tower. The heart was starting to push out of the confines of the walls that held it captive and face the light again. That vision spoke novels to me! My heart was chipping away at the walls from the inside and emerging stronger, fuller, bigger than before, albeit with a new set of rules! I had to meet my newly healed heart for the first time. It wasn’t the same as before. Then, my heart and I had a serious talk! I went over the list of things that were no longer allowed. NON-NEGOTIABLES. I reviewed the things I didn’t ever want again and turned them into the opposite, being what I DID want. My heart was very clear that it would no longer entertain anything that wasn’t the right fit. So, I had to make sure I had the new rules down pat and know what my boundaries are. And the biggest one for me; WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE TO TAKE CARE MY HEART FIRST.
So, my heart and I have an agreement. The tattoo that read “BOYS ARE YUCKIE” has been covered up. — and yes, “yuckie” is a technical term.
I gotta tell you there has been ZERO discussion about this at all with anyone. I was just going to let it all sit for a while. NO RUSH! Just make sure I feel good about everything when I check back in a few weeks. But THEN, I had a friend pass along messages to me from Spirit. Seems like my heart is sending out SOS to my Spirit guides for some help! I’m not sure if I want to call my heart a show off or a trader!
I LOVE MY SPIRIT GUIDES. Oh, my Lord, are they SO FUNNY! Of late, the way they have been giving messages to me thru my counterparts is in CARTOONS. You heard that right! I think that is SO CLEVER! It has been enjoyable being the sitter and for them, the reader! (honestly, probably the only way I would listen and not shut the messages out) Now mind you, I have not asked about this topic. I’m just accepting that my newly healed heart was enjoying being in the sun for the moment. So, trust me when I tell you, this has been out of left field to get these messages! I always tell others that Spirit gives you what you NEED – not necessarily what you want! This is a clear example. I see Mufasa from the Lion King in my head going “IT IS TIME”. I guess my heart needs to get it back in shape. So suddenly my message became about dating.
You see, Spirit has jumped in to explain the (NEW) law of the land for me. SPIRIT is now giving me “dating advice.” Oh, if you could hear the thigh-slapping laughter from how they phrased things for me!!! HA-LAR-IOUS! My Friend that gave me this reading said “OMG! THEY ARE HARD ON YOU!!! THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!” They used the cartoon movies – The Princess and The Frog, and Boss Baby to explain it to me. So here we go! Grab some popcorn for this one! Most of this is literally, verbatim!
#1 – We are “shaking you out of your tree”. You are not allowed to hide any more.
#2 – You are going to be presented with many FROGS – ONE WILL BE THE PRINCE. Get to kissin’! (She saw me kissing a lot of frogs!!)
#3 – These FROGS we are sending, are a test. These are ONLY A TEST. (I think they are concerned I might mess it up!) We need to see if you know when to send them back to the pond. We need you to practice speaking up about your needs. We want to see if you get it right!
#4 – Practice being dainty. LET THINGS HAPPEN! Don’t try and control, cut and run. You don’t/won’t have to do that anymore.
#5 –Give people a chance!! – Do not base what you see on one date to be the entire picture. Kapeesh?
#6 – (AND I QUOTE) ‘DO NOT COME HOME FROM A DATE AND ASK US IF “HE IS THE ONE’. We won’t tell you!! ‘ (If you know me – you KNOW THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD DO!!! I think there was a solid 3-4 minutes of roaring laughter out of me for that statement. THEY SO KNOW ME!!!! Hey! I got connections! Of COURSE I’m gonna ask!!! Wouldn’t you????)
#7 – Practice being led. Your input on how that looks is not part of this. If he wants to take you on a picnic lunch – allow him to plan it all and don’t ruin it! (who….. MOI???)
#8- We take GREAT JOY in bringing someone to you. You will also know by a distinct flower they give to you.
#10 – DRAW THE ‘BOSS” SIDE OF YOUR BACK – This will be an equal counterpart. You don’t need to be the boss all the time any more. This is not a Boss-Baby who is a grown-ass man in a diaper. This is a boss MAN!
#11 – “Here’s a clue, because we know you are going to ask – it will NOT be someone from your past. No Rift-Raff!”
#12 – They are giving you a lot of credit for being willing to try again and not shut down.
#13 – Learn to receive – there is a ‘silver platter” being presented to you. The more you allow, the more will be given.
#14 – “WE/ANGELS ARE ORCHESTRATING THIS – WE ARE SELECTING THIS PERSON FOR YOU. YOU ARE NOT. THIS IS HEAVENLY MADE FOR YOU”.
#15 – This person has done the work – worked thru THEIR shadow side. Do not judge them on their shadows!! He is not “Heaven” but “Heaven-sent” so he has a bad-boy edge to him (silently jumping up and down, shhhhhh!) But it’s NOT WHO YOU USUALLY GO FOR. (ah-HA! Another piece to the puzzle!)
#16 – SEE THE PERSON FIRST, THEN go check your list. (Yes, I have a list) GIVE-THEM-A-CHANCE! See them thru your third eye (intuition). Don’t compare them to your list out of the gate.
#17 – We know you won’t tolerate anything “less-than”.
#18 – TRUST THE PROCESS.
#19 – You will know the frog that is the Prince because (and I quote!) *POOF!* you will KNOW! (she really said “POOF!”)
I LOVE THEM FOR DOING THIS FOR ME. I sound insanely difficult, don’t I??? I’m not! They spoke of every conceivable way I have ever been to make sure that no mater what, I can’t dispute anything. It’s truly an act of GOD for me to even try again. I had NO IDEA that this would be the message. Jeez, I’m still giggling over all of this! What a blessing to have Spirit look out for me in all of this and VOCALIZE IT! My friend that was the microphone, was the PERFECT person. She has a fantastic personality, doesn’t know this side of me AT-ALL, and her delivery made the words enjoyable to hear as much as the message given. It was raw and blunt which is how I needed to hear but funny as all get-up! We both enjoyed the comedic way it was delivered thru her to give to me. The laughter did both of our souls good!
Honestly, I appreciate that there will be some “practice frogs”. After a long road of recovery, no doubt I will stumble taking my first few steps again. I need to find my footing, watch my steps, and practice applying the “new” rules for my heart to stay healthy. That will involve taking care of ME before anyone else.
So, if you see a trail of frogs in my wake, just know that I didn’t step on them. I just shoo’d them back toward the pond. May they be some else’s prince charming. Hey, I have to run and put some lipstick on. PUCKER UP, FROGS!! Here I come! … Ok, well MAYBE tomorrow!