Does it Matter?
Want to hear about my latest project? In addition to everything else I have going on, I am creating a family YouTube channel for my kids and grandchildren. Like some of you, I have boxes of home videos that were put away for safe keeping that I dug out. They have survived multiple hurricanes, moves across state lines, and divorce. None have been seen for many, many years, if at all. In fact, the little kids in these videos now have kids of their own at the same age! Yep! I am that far behind in this task.
Why has no one seen these videos? Well, for starters, the new smart TV’s and computers don’t support the past technology any longer. Throw in a divorce and new spouse and you know, extensive reminiscing takes a back seat to the creation of new memories.
Trying to do this myself proved to be an arduous task. Add to it that time and technology has changed faster than I can keep up. Should I had attempted to put everything from all these various videos onto a DVD, it would have been already obsolete. So, it wasn’t until I felt safe about where technology was going that I decided to finally work on this. To me, these pictures and videos are priceless and precious.
I saved my pennies and decided to hire a professional. Let me just say that to trust someone else to transfer and view all the unknown contents was to me, well, scary. After all, I didn’t even know what was on some of them!
Spirit has nudged me to get started on this project for a few reasons. For starters there are new people in my life that are not part of my past. It wouldn’t be right to dedicate so much time looking back when I need to look forward. Also, it’s the threat of future weather events that has me suddenly wanting to preserve these memories. Doing so in this manner will be in a format where everyone can enjoy them no matter where their path lands them in this world.
Am I the brainchild of this idea, no. I saw a social media post of a woman who had a baby. Her mom didn’t live in the area but wanted to be part of their lives. So, she created a YouTube channel to record herself reading stories to her new grandchildren until she could be there in person. This was a brilliant idea and I decided to add my own twist to it!
A decision was made after reviewing various companies that did this kind of work. I organized what I had, putting them in order the best I could. I walked in with a milk crate of various VHS tapes, 8mm cassettes and home created DVD’s full of photos. I said a prayer to my spirit team that they would handle with kid gloves the memories I was surrendering and left them with the company.
A few weeks later they were done. They handed back my milkcrate and a 2.5” thumb drive. I handed them my pennies and headed home.
Memory lane was amazing. I was sincerely shocked at the tears that welled up looking at my first-born son, hearing his little voice and seeing the smile on his face. That was just the beginning. So much I had forgotten. Year after year, an adorable new baby brother, Christmas, sporting events, pets that have crossed the rainbow bridge and vacations. One video after another was watched.
As I was mentally going back in time, I would send small snippets to the boys and their wives of when they were their own children’s age now. Although they appreciated ten-fold seeing how they were in motion and hearing themselves talk, there was also another perk I didn’t realize! Payback karma. Hear me out.
This was an extra bonus I did NOT see coming! Watching these bits and pieces, my youngest reported that his daughter’s antics, attitude and behavior are actually just like him at that age. You have no idea how much joy just hearing that from him gave me. When my youngest was a strong-willed toddler himself, I had a moment that I cried feeling defeated. I told their father that I didn’t think we were going to get along because of how stubborn he was! Their father looked at me and said ‘don’t you see? He is just like you! How do you like dealing with you?”
To take it a step further I mentioned to him that he will now understand when I giggle my ass off as I see her doing to him as he did to me. Karma’s a bitch. His wife chimed in on the group chat and she said she was an angel, and it wasn’t fair to her. I simply told her that I would continue to pray for her! I already know what she is in for!
As I reviewed moment after moment in time, I was also keenly aware of things I thought were important to record that just aren’t now. Think of the social influencers of today that take a picture of what they are eating. *SNORE* There was much that I documented that just doesn’t matter today. There was time and energy spent thinking it was and for that I recognize it.
For example, there were a few times that I thought it important to drive to the islands in my area and videotape. I recognize looking at these now, it was beautiful at that exact moment but has zero relevance or interest now not only to me but to others. Another example is the picture or video of the deer in the woods or the fish you caught. Also using an entire tape on the football game your kids played at age eight when everyone just looks like a bobblehead. Neither you nor your kids can even recognize the players any longer. So many of those things don’t matter now.
What mattered to me was watching videos of family and friends. Especially the ones that have passed away. It was endearing to hear their voices again and reminisce about the fun times that were documented. I appreciate the captured moments when they were alive and well, interacting with us all. It made me recognize that what does matter about all of these videos is the connections with family and friends. It is also the laughter that you have shared and the moments in time that that you could never re-create.
Although there are still longstanding friendships that have endured the test of time, there are relationships and alliances in these films that are no longer in existence for one reason or another. The documentation is how it was, and I make no apologies, nor am I going to edit people or situations out. It’s where we all were at the moment, good, bad or indifferent. I still have fond memories and the videos prove it.
There are quite a few funny videos. For example, my ex loved to secretly video tape my backside when walking behind me and I would secretly video tape his belly while quoting “unnecessary zoom”. These videos embraced our personalities as we were then. I hope that the kids and grandkids will see the videos of us when we were their age. I don’t think the grandkids are ready to see or hear everything for a few years, but it will be there when the time is right. As we are now grandparents but not together any longer, they will be able to witness firsthand how life shaped us as parents and grandparents.
There were personal observations about myself that I reflected on. I saw beauty that I didn’t believe I possessed then. I saw what sheer joy and happiness looked like and appreciated my personality and fast wit. I also saw the light dim in my eyes as stress, life and responsibilities were catching up with me. I saw it fade and then reignite.
I hear so many stories of people seeing drawers of pictures and videos of people that are lost forever. It is history. I reassessed what documentation really matters and what doesn’t. I don’t want these memories and fun times to be lost in a drawer or even my milk crate. I learned the lesson of what I thought would be important, truly isn’t now. Of course, then I didn’t know. So, in the future I will ask myself if in five, ten or twenty years will this picture or video be something I want to see or hear about. I will strive to show off the accomplishments and happy times with friends, family and the grandkids. I will try to capture the moments that warm my heart, make me laugh and take my breath away. I choose to document visual stories sprinkled with love and lots of smiles of the people I love. The rest truly, doesn’t matter.
