I was recently reminded just how many different masks we all wear when we’re out in the world. We’re the business professional, the best friend, the secret keeper, the hostess with the mostest, the lover, the spouse, the peacemaker and of course the list goes on.
While on my way to an out-of-town spiritual event, Spirit nudged me to reflect on the many ways I show up for others but also reflect if I was showing up fully for myself. Lately, I’ve been holding down four or five of those roles pretty steadily. But what about the rest of me? Those unused, silly, spontaneous, unfiltered parts that are still in there. Under the right circumstances, I’m pretty sure they’re going to burst out of the box I’ve stuffed them in… with a vengeance.
That thought kept me pondering as I drove. Sometimes I channel my inner five-year-old and get into fits of giggling over the silliest things. I laugh at probably inappropriate jokes. I find myself to be pretty self-entertaining. I can be wildly impromptu and unapologetically goofy. These are parts of me I won’t apologize for. Spirit works with me to keep a light heart, and sometimes that means getting in the dirt or the gutter and laughing until it hurts.
Then I wondered: What does this say about my spirituality? What does it say about me as a professional? How does all of this affect the image I’ve been curating? We’ve all had those moments when someone we admired did something we didn’t expect that shifted how we saw them. Would that happen to me?
Did I somehow trap myself in a lane I couldn’t veer from? I have a wicked sense of humor. The idea of censoring myself just to appease expectations felt completely stifling. I knew I needed to relax, be authentic, and let my soul breathe.
When my kids were little, I was always aware that my behavior at work or not, could be judged. What I said or did could influence whether someone wanted to do business with me. I used to say, “What you do at a party or event can follow you, even if it’s not your office.” If you’ve ever heard me take a work call, you know I “flip a switch” into business mode. It wasn’t until I was out of state or somewhere no one knew me that I felt free to fully let my hair down.
So, I asked myself: Am I doing that now? Have I unknowingly traded one box for another? Had I become someone who believed I could either be spiritual or silly? Professional or playful? Spirit put this conundrum in front of me for a reason.
It was on that same trip where I was a vendor at a spiritual venue, that everything shifted. During a quick break, I stood to stretch, and another vendor across from me was dancing right there in the middle of the aisle. Without hesitation, we both started doing a line dance. No music. No shame. Just fun. Frankly, we didn’t care who was watching. It was joyful. Freeing. A breath of fresh air.
Later, I shared my thoughts with her about how I’d been struggling to find balance between all the parts of myself. Her response stopped me in my tracks: “Why do you feel like you have to choose? Your life isn’t an OR life, it’s an AND life. You’re spiritual AND fun. You’re a businesswoman AND lighthearted. You don’t have to pick just one. All of that makes you who you are.”
That moment shattered the glass box I didn’t realize I’d built around myself. I don’t want to be an “OR” person. Life is too rich, too layered, too sacred to live that small. Spirit reminded me (again) to stop working so hard to keep my halo perfectly straight. There’s holiness in humor, and grace in letting go.
Yes, I have reverence for my work, and when Spirit comes through, I honor that. But often, Spirit delivers healing through laughter, lightness, and joy. For that, I’m deeply grateful.
So, here’s my new motto: I’m not an OR girl. I’m an AND girl.
I am a teacher and a student. A lightworker and a line dancer. A healer and a human being who sometimes just needs to giggle and let my hair down more.
You know what? So are you.
